Times they are a-changin

Hello everyone!
It's been so long since I've written an entry. A lot has happened since April 27, 2011. Everything is simmering down into summer now. Most recently, I turned 20 years old! This means it's time to reflect and visualize. I have been thinking about the passed 3 years or so and I am really delighted with where I am today. When I think back to how I used to act and what I would do a few years ago, I'm amazed how much I have changed for the better. It was a typical high school phase where I was conflicted with who I was and who I thought would be most accepted. I don't have to search for a new personality or façade anymore. It is such a good feeling to know who I am and love it. I'm not afraid to speak my mind or stay true to my beliefs. oooooraahh!

Of course, there is so much to work on and enhance. Even though I know who I am, it does not mean I'm completely satisfied. In fact, I don't ever want to be completely satisfied because then my life will plateau. I believe in growth and flexibility. I have started to create a list of things I will start doing differently this year. Most of which I am really excited about! It's just a matter of following through. The major one is stepping out of my comfort zone as much as possible. This one major change generally encompasses everything on my list.


I leave you with a quote to think of as you make your own personal list:

"We shall have no better conditions in the future if we are satisfied with all those which we have at present." - Thomas Edison

Find something you love doing....

....And you'll never work a day in your life.

I try and keep an open mind about possible options for my future. For years I have had my mind set on teaching whether it is early childhood, elementary or even special education settings. I am still on that track, but there are so many other possibilities, I just want to make sure I'm considering them all.

Almost every time I talk to my Dad, he always manages to slip in "options" for me. They're usually the same options: pediatrician, lawyer, psychologist "for kids" (he adds that last part to appeal to me more), or anything that requires a PhD or lots of schooling. If it's not suggestions, he always has some story about a teacher he met who is miserable and hates her job because she's poor and is stressed about her class. My Dad equates happiness to money. If I am making a lot of money, then there is no doubt I will be happy. Maybe he's just old school. Maybe I am young and naive. I know there's a lot I can do if I made a lot of money. However, I also feel strongly that if I am passionate and love doing my career, then I will always be happy.

So, sorry pops, I'm definitely not going to become a lawyer or a psychologist, but I am still thinking about other careers, summer jobs, and hobbies! I've always been really interested in baking and ever since I went to Europe I've been thinking about opening my own cafe because I loved them so much. I've also been thinking about going to another country, for a summer perhaps, to teach english. My neighbors are totally living the dream because they were abroad for a little and they came back and opened up Go Ape! I would love to open up some outdoorsy type business.

Well, whatever it may be, as I keep exploring my options, I just want it to be something where I can always give smiles and make people smile and encourage people to have a more positive lifestyle.

Love,

Melina Sabrina

Extraterrestrial

I feel...very different from a lot of people. I'm not trying to say "oh yea, I'm so unique and better than everyone else". You know those people that do everything in their power to just be different and you can tell they're trying so hard? No, this isn't what I'm talking about.

Sometimes I'm with a group of people and two things can happen: 1. They're talking about something really negative and I just tune it out. I can't really contribute to the conversation because I'm not feeling the energy or 2. They're talking about something I don't know too much about, but I'm so entranced by the conversation, I just want to listen and learn more. Ask questions here and there, but not too much so they don't lose their train of thought. I love listening to other's ideas.

This usually happens with people I don't know but am trying to get to know. Every once in a while I meet someone like me though. It's so refreshing to find these gems. As an introvert I do a lot of listening and I'm perfectly fine with it. However, I have a lot to say too. Two weeks ago I met two gems that really made a difference to me. THEY became the listeners. They understood the meaning of listening intently and then giving their opinion. I had a conversation with one of these gems about if we had to choose to be deaf or blind, what would we choose. We had different opinions on this, but still understood exactly where the other person was coming from. It's so hard to find people like this. People who don't want to argue, just respect and learn.

It reminded me of Justin Nozuka. I know I bring him up a lot, but hear me out. I don't even know him on a personal level and yet when I talk to him it's like we've been friends forever. The conversation flows so smoothly. No rushing or jumping topics.

These people are so extraterrestrial to me. It gives me hope that there are more people just like me.

Love,

Melina Sabrina

"Too much of something is not enough"

Today was a series of unhealthy choices that I actually do frequently. I would not call them habits.....just things frequently done.

#1. My mornings always start off really slow. You know how some people hate getting out of bed and it's just so hard for them? Well, it's not the I hate getting out of bed, I just really love being in bed. I could spend an hour in bed at least before I actually get out of bed. Sometimes I'm half asleep going in and out of sleep. Sometimes I'm wide awake, but reflecting and enjoying life. I purposely set my alarm a little earlier then usual sometimes just so I can do this. Yes, I will wake up earlier just so I can stay in bed longer.

#2. I was driving to school and decided to take the longer, scenic route. I was so enamored by the green fields and trees that I think I had my eyes off of the road too long. This usually happens which I see a field, trees, bodies of water, or stars. A little dangerous, but it's such a temptation to look!

#3. As I was driving and taking my time, this woman decides I'm driving too slow so she wants to pass me. Look, I was already going above the speed limit AND I was busy looking at something. How dare she decide to try and pass me. So I sped up which forced her to have to drive behind me again. I have a little case of road rage. This is actually something I want to change.

#4. I know every college student procrastinates and I am one of them. I can't help it if I would rather go to the diner with some friends or walk around campus then do homework. I know this is a dark and gloomy way of looking at things, but if I died tomorrow, I wouldn't want to spend my last day stressing over homework. Ya feel me?

So I just realized these four things all have to do with me taking my time. I'm just trying to live my life slowed down so I can enjoy everything.

Who knows what song the title is from? ;)

With all that said, I'm gonna sleep now, wake up early to do my homework.

Goodnight friends.

Love,

Melina Sabrina

Always remember to...

I had a wonderful weekend with wonderful people. Love & Dead Prez & MBSA. Sounds perfect right? It was until I came back to my room and start filling out my planner with everything I need to do. Same, old song: a lot to do and not enough time. Then I checked my mail and realized DOTS denied my second appeal...thieves. This is going to sound weird but, I wanted to go to the gym but my food wasn't digesting fast enough which was totally frustrating because my stomach needs to be almost empty for me to go. Amidst this anxiety I realized something was missing. Missing for two weeks now! Relaxation, meditation, reflection, time to myself. All of these things that I value so much and somehow they've slipped away for a little while. Instinctively I picked up my things and drove home. I'll admit it was a little late to drive home, but the consequences are worth it. Now I'm sitting in bed relaxing, meditating, reflectng and most importantly giving time to myself. It's not a lot of time, but if I'm going to get through this week I need this time.

I encourage you to make time for yourself doing something you love. I know we get so caught up in everything we have to do, but it is so hard to stay strong when you're not taking care of yourself.

Stay positive everyone! Appreciate every second you have.

Love,

Melina Sabrina

Confusion Illusion, You're blocking my sun

I went bowling last night and had a FANTASTIC TIME. It was like I was on a such a high having so much fun. So surreal like the fourth dimension was non existent. I usually draw myself back and shy away in big social scenes where I have to meet new people, but last night was different. I felt like a little butterfly. Alright, so I attribute some of it to the caramel macchiato I drank before going, but mostly, I feel it's because I was around my brothers and sisters. It's been so long since I have felt their company and encouragement. With my brothers and sisters, I know I have found THE REAL, THE TRUTH. Best feeling ever to have people who know THE REAL, THE TRUTH.

Afterwards, I stepped back to look at the bigger picture. I had a moment of confusion illusion. I found myself in an entanglement. For some reason, I felt like I needed to find the answer right away. I needed to know what was going to happen and what I needed to do. After a few hours of weighing pros and cons, making t-charts and venn diagrams, I realized I was wasting my time. Why did I need to know right away? I forgot I have to let go and let flow. Free my mind and experience life. Live your life slowed down. Enjoy the present you're given.

Then I had a CJAM night. A night of tired, fun. No sleep. Just foolishness. It was great. Jimmy can do 10 push ups with Christine standing on his back. Crazy, right?

If you walk with your soul and breathe in, you will win.

"Let's go to sleep in Paris, wake up in Teikyo. Have a dream in Amsterdam..."

I am having a strong urge to travel. This feeling comes in waves and now I am craving different soil, new fresh air, exotic faces and ancient buildings. I don't mind going back to Amsterdam, Paris, Maastricht, Brussels, Genk or San Salvador. I just really want to go away. I've been looking at pictures of people who are studying abroad this semester and I see places I've been and I miss it so much. I feel like I took my time there for granted. It's hard, however, to fully immerse yourself into a culture and atmosphere when you're visiting five cities in just two measly weeks. I learned the basics of the food, clothing, and architecture, but could I really tell you everything about each city? Probably not. Next time I go abroad I'm going to try and spend more time in each city so I can better understand the lifestyle and culture I am visiting. I don't want to be the typical, ignorant, American tourist that is there to just take pictures, taste their food, and act as if everyone understands English.

Travelling to me holds so much value in my life. It gives me experiences and memories that no one can ever take away from me. Many people prefer spending their money on clothes, technology and frivolous purchases. Don't get me wrong, I have a wish list of materials I want, but when I look at the bigger picture, I would much rather save my money to travel.

Wish List of Places to Visit

• Switzerland
• Canada
• Greece
• Australia
• New Zealand
• Southern Africa
• Spain
• Italy
• Ireland
• England
• Phillippines

Okay, that's a pretty long list, but I have time. Just gotta work on getting the resources!

I leave you with this video. My french boyfriend dancing by the Eiffel Tower. I miss you boo....haha sike. (Sorry about the video quality.)

The Artist

The past couple of weeks I've become a tad obsessive over the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. If you're unfamiliar with it, it's like a test where your personality is broken into four categories. Within each category are two options. When you're done deciphering what you are, you are left with four letters that tell you everything you need to know about yourself. This may sound a little extreme and unlikely, but I cannot believe how accurate the description of my type is related to me.

Let me break it down for you. My type is ISFP. This stands for Introverted, Sensible, Feeling, and Perceiving. Those that fall under this category are considered The Artist. The description I found on this website fit me like a glove. Now, albeit, some of it was a little off, but for the most part....truth! I'm gonna try and dissect the description, although I wish could copy and paste it all.


They are keenly in tune with the way things look, taste, sound, feel and smell.
This is something I don't even realize I do. When I think about it though, whenever I'm somewhere new or somewhere that I find incredibly fascinating, I enjoy taking a minute to just stop and take in as much information about my surroundings as possible. However, I'm not sure my attention to detail is very strong. Sounds like a contradiction, but makes perfect sense to me.

They have a strong set of values, which they strive to consistently meet in their lives. They need to feel as if they're living their lives in accordance with what they feel is right, and will rebel against anything which conflicts with that goal.
I'd like to believe that I am tolerant and not particularly confrontational. EXCEPT when someone tries to get me to do something against my beliefs or says something to offend my beliefs. Hey listen, you can believe whatever you want, but do not get in the way of what I am doing and do not disrespect my beliefs. I'm known for being quite the firecracker if someone disrespects me.

They're likely to choose jobs and careers which allow them the freedom of working towards the realization of their value-oriented personal goals.
I want to be a kindergarten teacher. Do you know how much you can learn about life from a five year old?

tend to be quiet and reserved, and difficult to get to know well. They hold back their ideas and opinions except from those who they are closest to.
When I first read this I was thinking no way....then I read the second sentence. True!

They are likely to be kind, gentle and sensitive in their dealings with others.
I'm a firm believer in treating other people how you would like to be treated. I also believe that there is so much beyond what a person portrays on the outisde. So when dealing with others, I try to remember to be sensitive in that I do not know all of the facts.

They're likely to be animal lovers, and to have a true appreciation for the beauties of nature.
My favorite colors are blue and green. Blue like the bodies of water and green like the land. I really love trees and stars. My dream is to live in a masterpeace away from the city. Oh yea, and I love my dog. haha

They're original and independent, and need to have personal space...ISFPs have no desire to lead or control others, just as they have no desire to be led or controlled by others. They need space and time alone to evaluate the circumstances of their life against their value system, and are likely to respect other people's needs for the same.
It always sounded so taboo for me to say "I'm just not the leader type". It always seemed like you were either a leader or a follower. It's painful to say, "well, I'm not a leader, so I guess I'm a follower". This description, however, really opened my eyes to the truth. I do not like to lead other people, but I certainly do NOT want to be controlled by anyone. I can make my own decisions and lead myself onto the best paths in my life. It kind of goes back to treating others as I want to be treated. I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but you are definitely not about to tell me what to do. Also, those that know me well, know that I need time to myself. After a while I become so overwhelmed by being in the world and interacting that I just shut down and need to have time to myself. And, indeed, during this time I reflect...on everything.

ISFPs are extremely perceptive and aware of others. They constantly gather specific information about people, and seek to discover what it means. They are usually penetratingly accurate in their perceptions of others.
I spend a lot of time reflecting about other people. I often think why someone is the way they are. I don't want to come to a quick judgement about someone without thinking of all the possibilities. This might seem like extreme judging, but to me, it's my way of understanding other people. It's not easy to do this, but it's what's fair. I think people often make quick judgements about me since I'm usually quiet at first. If people took time to understand me, their opinions might change. And not to toot my own horn, but it's true, my perceptions of others usually turn out to be true.

They are "doers", and are usually uncomfortable with theorizing concepts and ideas, unless they see a practical application. They learn best in a "hands-on" environment, and consequently may become easily bored with the traditional teaching methods, which emphasize abstract thinking.
Okay....so true. This explains why I ALWAYS tune out listening to history. My retainment of Bible stories and anything history related is shamefully low. I can't help it! I wasn't there and I have trouble relating it to the present! Zzzz.....

They genuinely care about people, and are strongly service-oriented in their desire to please. They have an unusually deep well of caring for those who are close to them, and are likely to show their love through actions, rather than words.
I'm working on my communication skills, but I just feel like if I show my love and care through actions, it will make so much more of a difference.

People who don't know them well may see their unique way of life as a sign of carefree light-heartedness
I'm not sure how many people actually think that about me, but I know my Dad probably does. What he doesn't understand is that I put a lot of thought into everything I do. When I put my mind to a goal that I feel strongly about, you better bet your bottom dollar and I'm going to reach it no matter what. It may seem like I do not consider the future, but the consequences I'm reaching for are just different than the ones others would like to see.

The only thing I interpreted oddly in this description is "ISFPs have a strong affinity for aesthetics and beauty". For some reason, this just sounded like I'm superficial. Hopefully, this is meant in a different way because.... well, I'm not superficial, I promise!




So....I was supposed to synthesize the description, but I pretty much copy and pasted the entire thing. If you actually read the entire thing, you are obviously a gem in my life. I encourage everyone to take the test and read your description!.....and then tell me what you get!


The test I used:
http://similarminds.com/jung.html

Then read your description here:
http://www.personalitypage.com/html/high-level.html


I would love to add a picture or some thought-provoking quote....but I need to sleep and I think there is enough to stimulate your brain in this one post.


-Love Melina Sabrina

Laugh a little more

Either people take life situations too seriously or I take them too lightly. Either everyone is too miserable or I am catching everyone on a bad day. I know today is Monday and it's usually everyone's least favorite day of the week, but it's not just today that I am noticing this. I am still going to use today for examples fresh in my memory. In my biology lab, we went outside for a nice nature walk or at least I thought it was. The sun was shining and the weather was sweet. We're following our T.A. who, I'll admit, is really hard to understand, but everyone kept throwing out negative comments about how no one could hear her and no one knew what to do. I really wanted to tell everyone to hush hush and stop stressing because everything we needed to do was already set up in class. Instead, I tried throwing out a light, sarcastic, but funny, "hey guys, it's all about the learning experience duhh". Only one girl laughed with me while everyone else glared. The laugh's on them though because while they're miserable, I'm enjoying every minute. As we were walking, the biggest jerk in the class thought he would be cool by hitting one of the branches of a tree. That idiot. A big cloud of pollen fell on him. I laughed so hard.

As I was walking back from lab, I saw this old guy in a white pick-up truck dancing to Shakira's Loca. Either people were trying to avoid eye contact or just thought he was weird because no one was laughing. It totally brightened up my day and I giggled as I walked by.


My point is, everyone is caught up in joining the majority of the miserable, negative people. Everyone should lighten up and laugh more often. It will make you feel better. The more positive you think (whether you believe it or not), the better you will feel. I say this from experience. It may seem like I'm laughing at people, but I'm trying to laugh WITH people. I mean, I know when it's appropriate to laugh so as to not make people feel bad, but a lot of the time it's okay to laugh with people. Shoot, I laugh at myself all of the time.


Call me crazy, but I really feel that laughing, or even smiling is good for the soul. So join me in my crazy state of mind and enjoy everything in life.


"Life is, but a joke and the laugh's on you. That's funny, right?"

IAMsterdam

Amsterdam was a beautiful, diverse city. I spent 3 days here in a botel (boat + hotel). The first day I was awake for at least 36 hours because I didn't sleep on the plane and I only slept 3 hours the night before. I loved walking through Amsterdam. The people were friendly and the bike riders will curse you out if you get in their lane. The fries and fritessaus is something like you've never had before. The Redlight District is real, but sad. There were tons of bikes, museums, canals. I absolutely loved the cafes (not the ones you might be thinking). It was one of my favorite things about Europe. You stroll into a cafe, sit wherever, get a coffee and pastry, and sit for as long as you want. There is no rush to pay and leave. I feel like we don't have enough of these types of places in America. My dream is to open up my own cafe here.

Some pictures to highlight the places I visited in Amsterdam

The Botel- I was standing where the ferry comes and takes us into the city. Sometimes you can feel the botel rock. It would stink if I got sea sick.

The Group + EEF: A couple of people were cut off. :(

Bike Rack: Hundreds of bicycles.

Anne Frank House

Iamsterdam letters: Our brazillian friends, Otavio and "Condido"

Lies, lies, and more lies

I can't find the cord to upload my picures and I left my journal at home. So sloppy. Therefore, I am unable to give you the low down on my special trip.

However! Today was my first day of class. I have what I hope is laryngitis and not strep. My voice sounds a little less than beautiful... Well class started at 11am. mmm perfect. Then my lab was cancelled. MBSA meeting was nice and sweet. This is going to be the best semester ever.

Okay, so this was boring, but sometimes "boring" is pleasant and relaxing. I hope everyone else had a pleasant and relaxing Monday.


Love,
Melina Sabrina

Quickie

Hello family!

I know this blog looks really lame right now, but I promise to update it no later than Sunday. I kept a journal with me while I was abroad so I wouldn't forget about all of my wonderful experiences. Now that I am back I have to quickly correct my jetlag, unpack, do laundry, and pack again to move back to school.


I missed you all deeply and I'm so happy to be back. I hope the end of your winter break was the bomb diggity.

Love,
Melina Sabrina